When I was a child, if I was naughty (which only happened twice, I swear), my parents would send me to my room until they deemed my punishment sufficient and granted me permission to rejoin the rest of the family.听
Both times, it was glorious. Alone time with my toys, crayons and a journal to write my angry manifesto? Book me in.
If I slammed my bedroom door, that added another 10 minutes to the punishment. Ah, but there is something so deeply satisfying about a good door slam, so I tacked that on to the time clock.听
For the record, my parents did not give harsh punishments, because they were loving and reasonable. Also, I was an angel and never did anything bad, so there鈥檚 that. I went through much of my life without getting into deep trouble. Some might say it鈥檚 because I didn鈥檛 get caught, but nobody asked them.
Not much has changed. I almost never do anything bad. I have a terribly clean record for goodness. Some might say I鈥檓 just smart enough not to get caught, but as noted above, their opinions were not requested.听
I鈥檓 nice to a fault. Ask any of my friends. They will say, 鈥測ou know, Kelly, you wouldn鈥檛 be this stressed out if you weren鈥檛 so nice to everyone. Life is much easier if you aren鈥檛 nice all the time.鈥�听
That鈥檚 very kind of them to say.听
After a difficult day and a strong desire to be left alone, it struck me that I can鈥檛 be the only adult who wishes that sometimes, someone (that someone being me) would send me to my room, alone, for an extended amount of time. Solitary confinement resulting in bliss.听
So, I did it. I sent myself to my room. I saw it as a temporary reprieve for the comfort (read: safety) of others. It鈥檚 a sort of 鈥渢ake your bad attitude and stay inside until you can come back through that door with a positive attitude鈥� theme (I swear I just heard my mother鈥檚 voice there).听
My plan is to stay here for at least five days, or until I run out of snacks.听
In fact, I鈥檓 writing this column from my self-imposed time-out, from the comfort of my cozy quarters. My phone is out of reach. The computer stays because writing helps my mood adjustment, but also so I can stream a rom-com without judgement. 听
I slammed the door too, for dramatic effect, but then yelled out to my family 鈥渟orry,鈥� because the truth is, I鈥檓 not mad at my family. Not at all.听
I just need a break. From everyone. Everything. All of it. And no, I don鈥檛 have a dinner plan. Sorry.
My misery does not love company, unless it鈥檚 my dog, so Scout has been invited into my sanctuary. Poor pup. She didn鈥檛 mean to become my support animal. It just happened by default.听
I know she is feeling my angst, but like me, loyalty prevents her from walking away from a buddy in need. Yet she has the right to be exhausted by her person who is beyond exhausted and on course for burnout. I know the truth, though. Scout is here for the treats. Can鈥檛 blame her. I鈥檓 pretty loyal to people who feed me chips. I get it.
You may think I鈥檓 crazy, but I say this kindly, yet firmly for your benefit: go to your room.听
You can thank me later.
